I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.Woody Allen
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Woody Allen
