Medical Quotes

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Groucho Marx

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Groucho Marx

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck

They certainly give very strange names to diseases.

Plato

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.

Anton Chekhov

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.

Erma Bombeck

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

Rodney Dangerfield

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

Napoleon Bonaparte